“Your desire shall be for your husband, and he shall rule over you”: one could say that the rift between man and woman occurred shortly after their departure from the earthly paradise. It was the consequence of their having chosen to break the enchantment of Love willed by the Creator: “This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh” (cf. Gen 3:16; 2:23). Today, however, the faces of women killed by their partners, husbands, boyfriends or former lovers are tears in the soul with deep wounds in the individual and collective conscience. Confronted with such cruelty and brutality, we are left devastated and powerless. On our television screens, the last photograph found by investigators of a woman, young or old, who will forever remain beautiful and full of light, is shown with a beaming smile, while the sound of darkness and death plays over it. It happens every three days, and each time it makes us shudder. Responding with superficial, half-hearted arguments is becoming increasingly difficult. With the passage of time, we are increasingly shocked by these atrocities. But the important thing is to take action, which many of us do: torchlight processions, protest rallies, funerals where tears and words of protest are shouted, collective jingling of keys to express the turmoil in our souls. During the last march in Rome last Saturday, the most striking words were those of the women, who linked violence against women to violence against “the enemy”, that is, war, both expressions of a sick masculinity, a patriarchy that is no longer legal in democratic states like Italy, but is still present in the consciousness of Western society as a whole. It is expressed as the right of the strong to dominate the weak, as the self-granted licence of those who see the right to rule as the power to own the other person, their life and death.
Although patriarchy as a legal system is no longer in place, it is evident that patriarchal methods of domination, such as forced submission and the use of verbal and physical violence to secure obedience, remain prevalent. The victims of abuse are predominantly women, despite the adoption of similar methods by women in positions of power.
The patriarchal proprietary family enshrined in Scripture meant that an adulterous wife was exposed to stoning, a practice that rested with husbands but, in some cases, even with the fathers of the said adulterous women. However, the source of the violence was not the discriminatory laws themselves, but rather the fact that love was not a prerequisite for marriage. People married for the purpose of maintaining or increasing their material wealth, and polygamy served to bestow even greater honour and power upon the one husband. The presence of love was not a necessary condition! The Scriptures, however, while acknowledging the ancient human practice of this patriarchal system, condemn it in the strongest terms. In the Old Testament, God of Covenant addresses his people with the following words: “The LORD set his love on you.” (Deut. 7:7) for no other purpose than that of possession or trade. Furthermore, when she (Israel) is metaphorically described as having “abandoned” Him for her numerous “lovers” (idols), the Lord does not resort to violence but shows tenderness, mercy, and forgiveness. While Scripture acknowledges the ancient human practice of this patriarchy, it radically criticises its value. Already in the Old Testament, the God of the Covenant says to his people: “The Lord has set his love on you and chosen you”! (Deut 7:7), not for any other purpose of possession or trade. And when she – Israel in the metaphor – leaves him for her many lovers (= idols), he does not use violence, but tenderness, mercy and forgiveness. And he certainly does not kill his children! Something horrible which today’s failed husbands, who are also failed fathers, are guilty of. Emotional inconsistency, fearing the void, falling back into the void of terror. This is the fabric of murderous violence. Rejecting life, rejecting their own life in the other person.
The Christian faith gives women the same dignity as men, as God willed in the Garden of Eden, for “There is no male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus” (Gal 3:28).
In Christianity, despite the misinterpretation of some passages in the New Testament, woman is liberated from male possession.
So why does the expression “God, family, country” appear among the causes of present-day violence against women? Why are the three elements of this phrase understood by so many women to mean that violence against women is caused by religion, and in Italy by Catholicism? In my opinion, the Church’s capitulation to secular patriarchal cultures in the past has led to this unlikely alliance, and even today clericalism continues to play a role in this accusation. But the Gospel doesn’t! And the whole Biblical corpus, properly interpreted, rises in unison to oppose violence against women, to oppose the dominance of a husband over his wife. In fact, we read: “He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, as the Lord does the Church.” (Eph. 5:28-29).
Christians today are called to make an important contribution to the healing of relations between men and women. They have the important task of promoting reflection, research, criticism, self-criticism, questions and answers, dialogue and debate. This healing process requires creating space and occasion. It also requires the involvement of people who have at heart their own and other persons’ material and spiritual needs. It requires the presence of friends, solidarity, family affection, as well as the contribution of education, science and thought, the ethics of relationships. It requires that society and politics do not leave us alone, but invite us to sit down at their table and say: “Come, and let us reason together” (cf. Is 1:18). Before the word is lost and the “beast” crouches at your door to devour everything (cf. Gen 4:7).
